If you’ve been hanging around the pick up community very long, you’ve probably heard the term “social proof” thrown around a lot. Pick up masters talk quite a bit about social proof, building social proof, gaining social proof, and using social proof; so if you don’t know what it is, you’re probably really, really confused.
Social proof is just the PUA way of saying social acceptance–how well you get along with other people and how comfortable they feel around you. To put it another way, it’s the way that you “prove” yourself to be an interesting, non-creepy human being, and a worthy potential partner, in a social setting. Having high social proof will help you enormously in your pick up forays; here’s how to get it.
Go out with friends
The easiest, and most obvious, way of gaining social proof is to be seen in a group of people. So when you go out, don’t go out alone; get a group of friends and head out together. If women see you with a group, acting comfortable and being accepted by them–BAM! That’s social proof, that simple.
You’ll get even more social proof if there are women in your group–or better yet, if it’s mostly women. Women might perceive a group consisting entirely of guys as some kind of female-hunting wolf pack; if you’ve got female friends around you, women will take comfort from the knowledge that other women are comfortable being around you. This might seem counterintuitive, as most guys shy away from a lady surround by a group of slobbering males. But trust me; the more women you have around you, the greater your social proof.
Don’t have any friends? Make some!
Maybe you really want to go out, but you can’t get your posse together. Or maybe you’re new in town, and just haven’t made any friends yet. But your social proof doesn’t have to suffer for it; if you’re out alone, make new friends.
This might sound like a daunting task to some of you, but just remember: making platonic friends is way easier for most people than picking up women. And luckily, it’s not that dissimilar a process. The confidence and attitude you’ve built up through our training can be used to attract new friends just as easily as it can to attract women. So don’t be shy; go up and introduce yourself to people, guys as well as girls. Start talking. Maybe even join up with a different group of people, and watch your social proof skyrocket.
If you find yourself out alone, it can be helpful to think of making friends as groundwork, the first step before you can start trying to attract women in earnest. It’s tempting to just jump right into the game, but the social proof you’ll gain from platonic interactions with other people at the venue will make meeting women a lot easier.
Be a ‘regular‘
Another great way to gain social proof is to be a regular. Go to the same establishments frequently. Get friendly with the bouncer, the bartender, the DJ, the servers–anyone and everyone who works there, and, for that matter, that doesn’t. Befriend other regulars, and introduce yourself to people you haven’t seen before. There’s a word for a situation where everybody knows and likes you: popular. And what girl doesn’t want to be with a popular guy? If you went to high school at all, you know the answer.
This doesn’t mean that you should be afraid of trying new places every once in awhile, but have a regular haunt or two as well. You can get tremendous social proof from being a regular. Women are drawn to men who are well known, and it isn’t just about popularity. Not to get all Oprah or anything, but I don’t need to tell you that girls have to worry about their safety, which is where a lot of their reservations around unfamiliar guys come from. It’s somewhat comforting to them to know that there are at least plenty of people around who could identify you in a police lineup, which gives you a great opportunity to show her why you’re one of the good guys.
So don’t neglect social proof; it’s invaluable in making yourself attractive to women. Surround yourself with friends and acquaintances, and make new ones wherever you go. People attract people, so attract as many as you can, and women will be lining up to join the crowd.
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About John Lione
