Learning to talk to women is important, but if you never learn about sexual escalation, promising encounters with hot women fall flat. You have to understand how to push the right buttons.
Escalating Sexuality
We’ve all felt it. You meet someone and simply think they’re attractive. You talk a little and it grows. Women giggle more, hang on your words, and touch your arm more often. By the end of the night you’re making out or ripping each other’s clothes off.
Escalating sexuality is a powerful force. When pick-up artists talk about sexual escalation, it is a little different. We refer to it as something in our control—a technique we manage. Everything in pickup is about mastering natural behaviour.
Creating Sexual Tension
Escalation success comes from sexual tension—that feeling of wanting to rip someone’s clothes off but holding back. Maybe the reason is complicated, like a boyfriend or decision to wait for marriage. Maybe it’s more subtle like a horny couple at a business dinner. Maybe you just met. The point is sexual tension is the result of wanting something you can’t have, but it’s so close you can taste it.
So if tension stems from not having, hold back a little. Just because she lets you touch her doesn’t mean you should start groping like you’ve never touched a woman before—even if you haven’t. Creating sexual tension is a push-pull. Put your hand over hers for a moment, and then take it away. Hold eye contact a little too long, and then start talking to someone else. Whisper something suggestive in her ear, and then change the conversation. Talk with suggestive double meanings to leave her wondering.
Escalation: When and How
As soon as a woman is obviously attracted, you need to start escalating. She’s dropped a few hints—asking for your name, laughing at jokes that aren’t funny, slapping your arm when you tease her, etc. Now you need to capitalize on this and make it clear you’re relationship will be sexual.
Start slow. Look in her eyes when you talk. If she’s touching you a lot, you can probably do the same. When you’re talking, gently put your hand on the small of her back or on her arm. Don’t overdo this or think too much. It has to seem natural. If she’s responding well, be more obvious as the night goes on.
At some point, when the fire is really burning, you have to confirm you’re more than friends. Stop her in the middle of a sentence and ask if she wants to kiss you. Surprising her makes it more likely to get a yes or maybe—in either case do it. If you feel awkward asking, deliberately create a tense moment of silence, put your hand on her neck, look her in the eyes, and go for the kill.
It might sound childish—but a great move at home or in a bedroom is to hit her in the face with a pillow to start a play-wrestling match. Wrestling around with a woman is always sexually charged, so just grab her and start making out. Her blood is pumping and inhibitions are on the back burner. No woman will roll around with you unless she’s attracted.
As the night progresses, monitor her responses. If you keep progressing and she backs off or slows down, pull away and act like you’re interested in something else. If she wants your attention, she’ll re-escalate, and you can reward her by picking up where you left off.
A lot of guys want to meet women, but when they do they do they don’t know what to do next and blow the opportunity. If you just walk away with her number, leaving her with no intense emotion, the chance of those seven digits turning into sex or a relationship are slim. By understanding sexual escalation, you can learn to steer its path.
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