Body Language First, Words Second

Student: “What should I say to her?”
Deline: “Doesn’t matter.”

Student: “What do you mean?  I need to have something to say!” 

Deline: “You need nothing, you already have everything.”

I sound like a guru on top of a mountain dispensing universal truths to some poor soul seeking enlightenment.  He has made the treacherous trek proving that he wants to improve his dating life, and here at bar on top of the world between the snow capped mountains… he’s wasting time thinking what to open with.  

Student: “WTF?  I can’t just walk up to her and say whatever comes to my mind!  That’s crazy Deline, I can’t!  I’m going to fail.” 

Deline:  <Sigh> “Start with the first solid step in her direction.   Get those hands out of your pockets and stand up straight.   Smile a little… no not that cheesy grin, bro!  Just a little smirk.  Yes, better… slow your gestures down.  Speak up.  Don’t lean over her.  And don’t forget to body rock.   Yes, perfect, like that!  Now go tell her…  you like salad.”                                                                                          

** 

Hi, I’m Deline.  I teach grown men how to attract women here in Washington DC.  My students tend to be very smart and driven guys; engineers, lawyers, doctors and programmers.  

On paper, they’re every woman’s dream.   In reality, they tend to be nightmare dates.  They have spent years studying and then working their way up careers to finally be able to acquire all the status symbols of success they can get their hands on, and to their dismay, none of that stuff matters to women.  And by the time they come to me, they’re usually on the brink of giving up forever.  These aren’t the kinds of guys that like to admit failure, and desperation has started to set in.  

Body Language First, Words Second 

All approaches start with your body language, what you actually say comes secondary. 

How you walk, how you speak, how you maintain the space around you, how you respond to people, all speak volumes well ahead of whatever words you choose to spit out.

Your body language is the way to signal your confidence without bragging.  If you got it going on, you don’t need to brag about it, you just walk exuding the knowledge that you are confident in your own skin.  

Sure, my students are confident in what they do for a living, but stick them in a bar full of women, and it’s like watching fish out of water, just flopping around gasping for air, and trying to do anything and everything hoping that something eventually works.  

So the very first step in fixing this hot mess, is literally asking my students to take a few steps towards me.  Helping them get their body language under control dramatically helps their chances. With strong body language, what you actually end up saying… doesn’t really matter. 

Here’s my checklist of Do’s and Don’ts regarding Body Language:
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