Imagine you’re on a rocky boat. If you lean too far to the left, the boat will roll over. If you lean too far to the right, you will also roll over. Stay in the middle, and you should be safe. Just watch out for the big waves…
How NOT to pick up
Here’s something that happened to a friend of mine a while ago. On a few separate occasions he went out to parties to have some fun, and maybe meet a few new girls as a bonus. Something happened before this time and he was a bit peeved, to say the least. Of course, he was well aware of that, and didn’t want that to stop him having fun. His solution?
Be more aggressive in approaching the girls, get the other bad stuff out of his system. He had his fun teasing the girls and grabbing them in… awkward places. The result?
I think he got about three mobile texts from girls telling him how sleazy he was, and not in a good way. I’ll just leave it at that.
The point? Ass grabbing does work, but only with proper calibration. He was not approaching in a balanced manner, and was like a guy with a gun with the mantra “ready, fire, aim!” (notice the order) repeating in his head. Some techniques you will learn here have a lot of power, and should be treated as such.
The importance of calibration
To calibrate means you are changing your angle of attack as the situation unfolds. Social interactions are not static positions, but dynamic happenings that are sensitive to inputs from all parties. Obvious example: don’t tell black jokes if there’s a black person at the table (unless you’re the black guy). I happen to be Asian, and I love telling jokes to take the piss out of Asians. This shows you have a sense of humour, that you can laugh at yourself and that you are comfortable with it. Again, this is all about calibrating what you do and say to fit the situation.
As you start out on your path towards improvement in this facet of your life, basic routines committed to rote memory will help you. As you move along and gain more understanding, you’ll find that calibration comes back to bite you… These so-called “canned” routines are inflexible, unchanging. Calibration is the element that will allow you to mould your approached to fit all other situations. You will find that this comes with experience, so be aware that practice makes perfect.
How to balance properly
In my mind, the ultimate goal in pick-up does not end with rote mastery of every technique available. By all means, give everything out there a try… because that’s the only way you’ll know whether or not it will work for you. However, true success comes from eliminating what doesn’t work and keeping the rest. To pass through knowledge and arrive at simplicity, that is your quest.
- XaC
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About XaC
