So you’ve read around, found a few good ideas, now it’s time to put them into action. Wait, what? Now? How about next time… that girl over there looked busy… I’ll do it tomorrow… or next week… or a month later… Soon you get yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of inaction.
It’s all in your head, dude…
You had it all down in your head. You’ll just go up to that pretty young thing, spew out those lines and impress her so well that she’ll happily hand over her number so you can get together later. You take the first few steps towards that very cute backside… and then you do a complete about-turn.
In our world we refer to this as Approach Anxiety, or AA.
You’re scared. That’s understandable, so don’t feel too bad about it. But that doesn’t make it all right to not do anything about it. Theory and action are completely separate entities, and you will have to bring them together.
Getting over your AA
So let’s break down this AA thing, shall we? Here are some of the things that might be going through your mind as your feet seem to automatically reverse direction:
a) “She’s just going to reject me, so let’s just forget about this”
Rejection happens, get over it. I’ll put it up there again, in bold and underline print; Rejection happens – get over it.
You will need to test all the techniques and theory in your head with action. You are molding your mind around these concepts by applying them to the real world, and it will take you more than a handful of approaches to get to a good level. But more importantly, you must go through these rejections to develop a tougher skin, what I like to think of as the “Meh” factor.
You will become a stronger man and these rejections will just roll off of your back. It’s no big deal. So this one girl doesn’t want to be graced with your awesomeness? OK, next candidate please.
b) “I’ll have nothing to say”
A lot of guys freeze up in conversation with women; they just run out of things to say, and the atmosphere gets colder and colder as they try to think of something to continue the interaction.
Most guys fall into this pit not because they have nothing to say, but rather they believe no one will be interested in what they have to say. It’s just a stupid and unconstructive thought process that you should get rid of.
If you want to have interesting things to say, lead an interesting life! Go out and do things, not just approaching women. But in the end, the important thing is to not worry too much about what needs to be said.
c) “She’ll think I’m weird and creepy”
Some guys aren’t as worried about being rejected, as they are worried about being perceived of as a freak.
Same as the first point above – get over it. People make judgments about others every day. “Damn, that guy needs to lose weight,” “Oooh, I wouldn’t mind spanking that nice ass”… Why should what other people think about you matter? As long as you are leading a happy and productive lifestyle, and not harming anyone else, let them think what they want. “I’m cool, and I can approach girls whenever I feel like” should be your mental program.
Don’t make excuses. Go forth and approach.
- XaC
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About XaC
